when the creative juices start to flow, it seems like i can't stop. there are 2 birthdays in january and febuary 2010. while having time, i want to make something for them now. last night, not feeling knackered, i fished out my newly purchased-handkerchieves and sewed them together to make another pillow. both sides are red with different patterns. i like this kinds of handkerchief. when going to flea market, i bought bunches of them.

i still need a desk for my telly at home. seeing that we have plenty of old computer desk, i dug one out, dusted it off and painted it red. it feels like me painting things red.. the white wardrobe is okay but i still prefer red..

while painting, i had an idea popping up in my head. i want a room where i can create things and call it a studio.. sound good, huh?? my bedroom is starting to get packed and i feel suffocated. i need to move some of my things to another room. as sis's moved her things from the fitness room, it is more spcious now. i am thinking of transforming it into a studio, where i keep all my things and sit creating.

2010, i aim to create more. having a nice place to sit and get busy, i think i would get highly inspired.. and now the project is running wild in my head. first, i have to paint the wall. i will check out the old paint, guess there are still some left somewhere, then install shelves, paint an old table, move things down and get them organized.. this is going to be a gift for myself for the coming new year.. but i will buy things as less as possible. the most important thing is to get creative..

i felt really sleepy this morning, despite the fact that i got up at 6.40.. i forgot to set the alarm clock and i was having a long dream when it was getting light outside. i was awake bc i heard kla get up.. getting up and checking the time, damn.. i was late and missed my running!!! i think i need a cafeine to kick this groggy mood..

anyway, thank you, rose and ying for your comment on my previous blog.. they said family are like brownies, they are sweet but contain some nuts..

when i met dave at the airport the other time, he gave me this book, suggesting that i should read it... i know his book genre and mine were like black and white. it'd been on the shelve since then. but after finishing my reading goal, i wanted to give it a try. . few pages after the start, i couldn't help but kept smiling and sometimes i laughed out loud like a lunatic. it's a moving and hilarious book and very easy to read. the story is told from the autistic boy's point of view which makes it very interessting. it's the way he thinks, how he believe, the way he sees things that capture the readers. it shows you a kind of thinking that is not your usual "normal" way of thinking. there are some pictures showing how the boy thinks.. when i was reading it, i kept asking what next, what he would be doing or thinking, what going to happen next..

2 nights after closing my shop, i spent time painting this old wardrobe. my bed is white so, i want a white wardrobe. everyone was surprised why i didn't pick red this time, even kla.. first day, i painted the first layer, waited until it was dry and then did the second layer on the second night. today, i brought it out to the balcony to dry it in the sun and get rid of the thinner smell.. i am going to put it in my room at my parents'.. it's going to look good in the blue room..

i saw this advert on a blog this morning. seeing that there were plenty of cool actors/actresses, i can't wait to watch it!! but it will be out on valentines' day next year.. gosh! so when it's going to be in thailand?

the good thing today.. i weighed in this morning and i saw 50K!!! wow!! i was 51-52-53-54-55 kgs. for many years and have never weighed 50 for a long long long long time.. bravo! all the running has started to pay off!.. happy wednesday!!

it's just my fleeting thought..

yesterday, i went out to meet dave at the swan. he flew down with his new girlfriend to go to lipeh island for a week, to celebrate their first christmas together. he was already there chatting with a friend when i arrived. it was surprisingly easy to find a space to park my car on the road near the swan. normally, that road was always packed.

when i was there, dave introduced me to his friend, tony. i joined them and their chat. he asked if i wanted a beer, i said no, just a tea was fine. we talked about various things and shared some laughs.. later an old guy named dave joined us. he was a friend of tony. so while tony and the old dave were chatting, i caught up with dave. i told him i was so surprised hearing he had a new girlfriend again (but not too surprised)... when he was in hatyai, i saw series of his girlfriends he bought to my shop. again, this one i asked how he met her. he told me shyly she was his student at aua few years back and she was 10 years younger. wow, man.. go enjoy your life.. (actually, i said inside..wow man.. go screw up your life.. but i mean.. live it while you can..) they started seeing one another 2 months ago, so their love is new and fresh.. and i could see it on his face and in his eyes.. . right after he broke up with the first girlfriend in bkk with the reason that they had different interests, he moved on and got a new girl. see? guy moves on so fast, while girl is still nursing the pain.

seeing him this time, though not talk much, i think he has changed in size and in view on life. more relaxing and less cynical. he seems to enjoy life a lot more and it's good for him.

talking to dave and tony and the old dave for an hour, i got a phone call from my sister. she asked where i was. i said with dave. she said with an annoying voice that dad was at the shop unloading my things and asked with an impatient voice, when i got back to my shop. i was a bit pissed and annoyed, as she always acted thing like this when i was enjoying my time with friends somewhere. i don't know why, never have a clue why she won't be happy for me when i am happy outside with friends.. i sat there a few more minutes and told dave i had to leave to pick up my cousin from school.. i said good bye to everyone and then left for my car..

i felt like my rare and blissful afternoon meeting an old friend was spoiled after the phone call.. but it was good to see him and meet new people.. and it was good to be out..

my sister and i are close, yet we are hugely different on the way of thinking, the way we view life and the way we live our lives. she is the smart and quick kind of girl. i am the slow, artful girl. we both are daddy's girls but we pick different things from dad. she likes the big fancy job, fancy car, fancy many houses, investment and the things that can make her bank account gets fat.. i am the simple, homebody girl who likes to live in her own artist world. i have no big ambition for material things, while she looks for chances to build up and invest. i am the imaginative girl, while my sis knows nothing about creating.

but there is nothing wrong with her wanting things more for herself and her family, as the more she makes, the more she gives to everyone at home. she is the one who pays when we eat out. she is the one who financially supports everyone.. she has a very kind heart. on the contrary, i give what i can make. i give them my time, i create things for them, i am the memory keeper for the family.. we are sisters but we are quite different on the way we live and the way we show love to our loved ones.. but we make sure everyone at home feel loved..

it is just one thing i am pissed at her. it is when i am with friends or boyfriend (it was pt then..) she was not so happy if i was out with friends, especially pt.. i tried to mix them but they were like water and oil. it hurted to see my sis avoid my boyfriend. it showed on her face that she just didn't like him. that's it.. i kept trying and then i stopped trying. so i lived seperately life when it came to love and family. my family never knew that i had a boyfriend for 12 years. i tried to be open with my sis first but i failed so i kept on a separate life as i did when i lived away from home 5 years ago.. i've never told my sis that pt was my bf but i guessed she could guess.. so, she didn't know we broke up and became friends again. she just turned blind eyes when it was pt.. there are not many shits i have to deal in life and this is a real shit. but i've never agued with her. i just kept silent, everytime we conflicted. she told me once she was afraid of my silence.. i don't like wasting my energy fighting. she is the one who fights like a bull. i know her too well and i don't like to be a bull, so i decide to dig deeper into my own little cave and into my silence. she knows this and she will stay away from me for a while.. we never talk openly about this. it's just an annoying act. and it's just that if you are not happy when i am happy with friends or boyfriends.. fine.. (mostly this happens with boyfriend and boy-friends..).. i don't know why and i don't want to go figure it out.. but i secretly guess she likes to me to be single and around the house at all times.. oh! gosh.. i don't want to be an old maid living a sheltered life.. i want to go out screwing up, even though 40 is around the corner!!

sorry to waste your time reading.. it's just my fleeting thought..

review goals on this year and move on to next year..

For next year, I still can’t think about doing something new but what I want to do is to repeat and get better at what I am doing this year. There are goals like..

• Running; I want to keep doing it, as it has changed me since joining the first running goal. I don’t run because it’s a way to loose weight only, but also I run bc it makes me stronger, healthier and it gives me a clear head and mind after doing it..
• Writing; I want to keep on doing it, expressing myself in words and succeeding by writing down. My English is getting better by doing so and it helps on my translation work too.
• Staying creative; I might be slacking off on this goal this year but I am jumping back to it. I want to look for things to be more creative and make it a habit. I am doing good at photography but not at creating things, apart from scrapbooking…
• Travelling; I am doing great in this goal, seeing new places and meeting new people and I will keep on doing it. Next year, I will try going new places I have never been before and seeing some people I want to see for a long time..
• Meeting old friends; they are the joy of my life. As we are getting older, we see and experience things differently, while we are living our lives separately. But when there are chances to meet them, I like to grab them. This year, I’ve met loads of old friends bc I made efforts and next year, I will make chances to do it again.
• Time with family; this year, we become very close due to my niece and nephew. Next year, as they are growing up, I wish to make more time to travel with them, or just stay home spending time together.
• Love; argh!! this is the hardest one. Since the breakup, I’ve learned so many things and went through some pains but no I won’t hate love. I am still open and look for chance to fall in love again. Maybe, next year, this goal is going to be the most challenging one.
• Attitude; I want to be more open, talk to a lot more strangers, speak up, give ideas and think positive thoughts.
• Reading goal; this year, I am doing good at it too but want to read more books next year and pick the books that are more thought-provoking, instead of chiclit (there is nothing wrong with chiclit but i want to widen my reading rank..) English is my second language, so this goal is still challenging and I want to be good at it..
• Work; I work from home, which is a dream-come-true. I work in season, so I have no problem with work and play. But what I want to achieve more is to get more regular and solid customers. I want them to be able to contact me, even if I don’t open my shop, or when I am travelling.
• Finance; I want to save more, not by working more but living a simpler life and below my means. Be more creative and content, even when I don’t have much money to spend like before.

However, what I want to achieve the most is the attitute towards life; thinking positive thoughts, be non-judgemental and be open to people and their thoughts etc… I believe that it will help me to be a happier person..

it's time to be creative again..

Or is one of my best best friends who i can talk about anything. she wouldn't judge. she just listens. we've been close since the third year in prince of songkla university. i don't remember how but we talked a lot. we've stayed in touch via postcards and occasional phone calls. the previous few years, we keep sending postcards more; some we bought, some we made.

all year long, she likes to send me gift-sets from oriental princess for various occasions. she is a health and beauty guru. she said when using the scented products she feels good and wants me to feel the same. so she keeps sending me lotion, shower cream, shampoo from oriental princess.. some years, i don't need to buy a lotion. when one bottle was finished, there was a new one coming for a new occasion..

when meeting her in bkk during october, she gave me a brown paper bag from oriental princess containing one bottle of lotion and one bottle of shower cream with apple fragrance. it was a new scent and i have never used it before. honestly, i have almost tried all fragrances they have now.. and she told me do not buy any lotion bc she would send me a giftset for the new year..

what is my kind of gift to give to her? mostly they are books, movies and gifts i made, or some beauty products that are not from oriental princess. last year, i gave her a diary i made. i sent her the flowery one first. the fabric was from my old tanktop i liked to wear when going to the beach.. after receiving it, she told me she loved it so much but her niece loved it even more and wanted. her niece was about 12-13 years old and loves journalling. i told her to give it to her and then i sent her another one; the black one. she loves it too but told me she still prefered the colorful, flowery one... she told me she brought it with her everywhere as it was small and easy to carry.. and she writes on it whenever she has a chance... i like to make things for people and am happy knowing they use them..

this year, i was at my wit's end and didn't want to make a diary again. seeing that i had plenty of handkerchieves which i use as a scraf when travelling, i picked out 2 and started my pillow project..

while making the pillow last night, i watched this movie 'before sunset'. i've watched it way too many times and only god how often i watched it.. but i love this movie. it's a 'feel good' movie which i will watch again in the future.. there is nothing much in the movie, but the conversation they made when seeing one another again after 8-9 years from their first meeting. they have changed as they grew up and so were their attitudes.. there are things to think along in their converstations.. and the movie was shot in paris, the city i like to get lost taking photos.. naturally, i like meeting old friends, looking for a place to sit and talking to them, exchanging ideas.. that's why i love this movie loads..

..i started by hand-sewing the handkerchieves together.. yes, i have a sewing maching but too lazy to use it.. i like hand-sewing if it's not a big pattern..

then, took out the polyester from my sis's neck pillow. she has plenty of this kidney-shaped pillows piling up around the house and seems not to use all of them. they are from her company to give to customers but they were too many. i want to get rid of them by transforming them into something more useful.. then, i stuffed the polyester into my pillow. i just needed 3 of them.. and then sewed to seal the last part of it..

ta da!!! the yellow side..

and the white side..

and both sides!!

the project took me one movie from the start until i finished it.. umm.. not bad at all!!

this morning, i packed it into a box and am going out soon to post it to her. i won't say a word about this pillow when she calls me again.. i want to surprise her and make her day..

and yes, this is my bed where i sit to create things and watch movies.. i love it!!

happy monday to all my beloved stalkers!!!

it's sunday... what are you upto?

this is how i spent my sunday morning this week. i was up at 7.30 am. couldn't believe myself i was up this late.. (on weekday i woke at 5 am, so 7.30 am was pretty late for me!)

rose asked me on facebook how my sunday was going, so i decided to use it as my topic and write about it today..

well, actually nothing much. it was the same as other sundays.. after waking up, i walked out of the house looking for phun.. at first i thought he was still sleeping as the house was blissfully quiet. but he was out on a morning walk with his mom since 6 am.. they came knocking on my door already but i didn't hear..

as the morning sun was still not so strong, sis and i brought phun on a motorbike to see py at her house. we chatted and had a mini-breakfast with her mom there and phun fell asleep. when he woke, we got back home, together with py..

it's been a while since i walked around the house taking pictures with py. so today, i convinced her to walk with me. her camera had a dead battery, so i told her to borrow one from auntie's joon.. then, our journey had started..

the function was different from hers, so she had to figure it out how to use it for a while ..

and then we walked around looking for something or someone to shoot.. first person was grandma and then grandpa..

see? this is my girl!!

..cousin bond..

just say cheese!!

arghhhh!!! phun, you grabbed her hair too tight!!!

i had to run to help release phun's hands from py's hair..

well, yes i love kids, especially this two little monsters.. they are adorable.. but hell no.. if thinking of having my own.. they are a lots of works and expensive.. and i can't afford one. i am not ready to wake up during the night way too many times when they stir to feed them or change nappies. too exhausting, too much sleep-deprivation, too much devotion.. and i am too self-centered for that.. i know if i have to be in that situation, i will be a good mom, but hell no baby, no..

..and some photos from this morning..

in a few hours, i need to drive back to my shop and open it. it's time to get busy and open it during the weekend again. after mid-term exam, things will get too hectic. my assistant will do it on saturday and i sunday. we open it in the afternoon, as dorm students are like us, they are still in bed half day in the morning.. wish you have a wonderful weekend and spend it as you wish..

after confining myself in the room for a few hours, i told myself it was time to walk around shooting. most of the flowers and trees had been snapped before, so i had to be more creative looking for something else to capture, in the same old area.

still, i went to the same places, but looked a little bit closer and tried to be more creative. sometimes, when the big beautiful things are too outstanding, you won't see the smaller beauty. that's why you have to look closer to see the ones hiding..

i've been using this camera and this kit lense for 10 months now and i've been tempted to buy a new lense for a more advanced step. but i have kept telling myself that i take pictures for pleasure and for passion, not for money or to complete with anyone, so i don't need a newer and more expensive lense to just satisfy my ego. yeh, i've been telling myself so for a wee months now... and it won't be going to happen next year too, as i have to save money and being a creative tightwad for a bigger dream.. money seems like a challenge this year.. it's fun to be creative in many aspects of life, though..

my saturday was that i spent all my time in my room, listening to music. i feel like i was acting like a teenager, shutting myself from the world and delving into my own world.. that's me.. i like to shut myself from people and live in my own head. i can live like this for weeks..only if i have music with me and something to eat!

last night, i started to decorate my mini-vision book for 2010. but after doing it, i think it turns out to be a mini-quote book. i like to collect inspiring quotes and keep them together..

however, this book will be more like a 'happy book' to me, as i will cut and paste photos i come across. they are pictures and quotes that remind who i am, what i like and what i want to be.. there are not many pictures in there yet but loads of quotes already..

on the day i feel awfully low, those quotes and pictures help lift me up.. and the good things while doing it is that it keeps my mind busy and at the same time at rest.. it's like when you like doing somethings and you keep doing it for hours, you get lost.. this is my kind of lost hours..

the front page..with some descriptions that inspire me..

the inner front page..they are some arts i found in elle magazine..

and the quotes, i like..

this book is going to be a never ending-book... i will keep adding up some photos, ideas and quotes that inspire me.. stay tuned!!

p.s. click on the pictures to enlarge them and read the quotes..

it's friday again, people, it's friday! yeah, i am driving home and i am done with the workweek. it's time to have fun, sleep in, and get lazy. i don't have any plan for this weekend but i will just let myself be lazy.. i think i will delve into some kind of art work.. i will make a mini-vision book for 2010 while i am hiding in my room at night; when everyone is sleeping soudly. last year, i made a vision board and i've happily accomplished some of them. most of the pictures i put in 2009 vision board are destinations i want to visit in my life time; rarely are things i want to buy.. (but i did buy one things, a new camera!).

in 2010, i want to make it again. but this year, i will make it in a form of a mini-vision book which i can carry it anywhere, read it when i want to remind myself what i want to attain in life. stay focused and enjoy walking towards the goals day by day.. i look like a slacking girl but i have my own way to achieve things. i set goals and i manage to get what i want in my own happy ways..

2009 has been a great year. it taught me so many things. i have learned so many lessons. i will come back to talk about it when the year nearly ends.. but now it's friday afternoon, people.. leave your flat screen, notebook and pc.., call your girlfriends or boyfriends (if you have one...), go out, have fun and enjoy your life..

..hope you have a lovely weekend..

this morning, while i was feeling restless, i looked for reasons to go out. then, my customer handed me A3 drawing to make copies. after making him 2 sets, he said he wanted another 2. counting the paper, i saw it was not enough. so i told my assistant that i was going to tesco to buy the A3 paper. it was not far, just 5 mins drive and i was ichy to be out.

while driving, i decided to call pu. it's a habit to call her while i am behind the wheel. it's been a week that i've not talked to her. she seemed busy lately, due to the work at end of the year. i was lucky that she was not busy and could talk with me long. we caught up with one another's life. her sister, Jack, is now in BKK living with her. so, they hanged out often after work. i told her i might be in bkk in march. she said she found a new chic restaurant and if i came to bkk next time, she would bring me there.. the restaurant endlessly served a pot of tea.. she knew i love sipping tea and chatting.. aw.. i am looking forward to it. we like to look for a nice place to sit and chat and eat!.. we talked until her phone was cut off due to the dead battery.. it was good to catch up with her, though..

yesterday, while surfing net, i came across the above photo. i love the carefree look of the couple. easy and laidback. when it comes to love, i still feel young at heart. i like young love; extreme, passionate and uncomplicated..

and yes, ying, 'w' comes alone for the conference.

good things happened today: (though, it's still early, i have something to be happy for)

• completed my reading goal. yep! i was finished with the 45th book last night. the book; the memory keeper's daughter, was wonderful, emotional and compelling. i'd come across the reviews of this book from time to time but kept postponing reading it. until i reached the last book on my reading goal and i still had 3 weeks left before new year, so i decided to read it slowly.. and when starting it, i didn't want to rush to the last page at all. there were emotions, events, thoughts to think along.. the language was beautifully described. my heart was wrenched when it came to grieves each character went through..
• went out to the post office to pay the bills and send out christmas and new year cards.. 12 of them are going in each destination. 6 in thailand and 6 overseas. i can't wait to imagine the smile when my friends receive them..
• starting a new book; 'your money or your life'. it's my second time reading it. i read it the first time few years ago after quiting coorperate world and told myself that i had to read it again. and now it's time, before the new year begins. the book is mainly about how you view money, how you work hard to gain your hard-earned money and how you spend it. but the main point is about your view on money and not be a slave to it.
• today, i took a break from running and took that time to read the book and tidy up my desk. at night, i spent an hour crafting, writing and scrapbooking. i am the memory keeper. when i feel awfully low, i look at my scrapbook and i am joyfully lifted. that's why i can't stop creating. the outcome is both during and after doing it.
• the message from 'w'.
• i am wearing a red skirt today. it feels good and feminine.
• i am losing some weights and i feel lean and stronger.
• my writing time; in my blog, 43things and in my friends' blog.. it is good to talk to you via blogs; ying and rose!
• the new taste of tea. i love exploring tea. now i am sipping twinings; passion fruit, mango and orange. all in one bag. it feels like heaven. you know what? when i have cash coupon from tesco, i save them up to buy the next new taste of tea.. i drink it everyday and proudly admit that i am addicted!
• this week, i feel like i don't want the weekend to arrive so soon. it feels like i have something to do at my shop, at my alone time. loads of things to do and catch up.. i am the single mom to kla during workweek and in a few hour, i have to pick him up from school and hit the farmer market together.. who says single girl are lonely? i am damn too busy.. however, having someone to get busy with is a lot nicer.. ;]

keep smiling and happy wednesday!

this morning, when checking my email, i got a message from a belgium friend named 'wim'. he is my online friend i met via 43things. he is my number one cheer giver. in 43things, we post goals we want to achieve in life, big or small it's up to you, and we give cheers to fellow 43thingers. when i post things, 'wim' always gives cheers to me and i cheer him back when i have my cheers left or when he writes something.

in 43things there are goals like 'people in 43t you want to meet' and 'places you want to go'.. few weeks ago, 'wim' posted 'i want to meet joyjoei'.. and in some of his goals he wrote before and i didn't realize that he would be coming in thailand in march 2010 for a conference, so yesterday, i posted my goal 'i want to meet wim'.. posting it, i was thinking that the chance to meet him was only when i travel through europe, which i plan to but not in a few years.. it might be in 5 years.. but i want to meet this friend..

after posting 'i want to meet wim', i got a message from him last night, asking if i was free to meet him in bkk in march 2010.. i was so thrilled reading it and learning he is coming.. why not?? i am free to travel during march and i don't have a solid plan yet, so i said 'yes' to meet him..

no, he is not my secret crush or an online lover.. he will be coming with his girlfriend for the conference and they will be travelling to india together after thailand.. we are just friends who admire and cheer one another on the goals and progresses of the goals we post in 43things.. he is an athetic who likes to swim and run.. as a result, i guess, he likes to cheer me on my running goal.. and we become a permanent cheerer to one another..

the weekend was finally melting away and a new workweek is freshly beginning. i am glad for both; the ending and the beginning. the weekend was lazily well spent; reading, shooting, talking and making fun with my folks, surfing net through the wee hours, sleeping in, running in the woods, shopping at flea market, and napping.. you name it..

when getting back to my shop, i was glad too. i was glad to get back to my small room filled with books, pictures, scrapbooks, some art works, paintings, movies, and time doodling in my diary.. last night, when spilling my thoughts in the diary, i was thinking back when i was at home surrounded by my folks.. i immensely enjoyed the time when i was with them, but i was missing something; my solitude.. even, when at home, i want to write or create something. i have my own room but it has barely a thing for me to create. i have only a white wooden bed and a fan in it, not a table to sit and write.. not that i can't find or afford one but i just can't concentrate to write or create. i bet i get used to living in my room with no telly and radio blaring all day long.. when being alone in my room writing or creating, i switchoff everything to get lost in my own thought.. but i can't do it at home. so i just play along, watching tv and listening to the radio.. but still, i feel like i miss something...

last night, an idea popped up. as dad is building a storage and a garage with a kitchen and a bathroom next to the new house. i have an idea that i want a room in that garage. i want to stay there alone, without a telly and a radio.. and i am going to give up my blue room in the new house for phun when he grows up. i don't want a kitchen bc i don't like cooking. i can walk to the new house and eat anything in the fridge.. i will talk to dad when i am home this weekend. actually, the new house was built for me but i don't need it. it's too big for me, too spacious.. i like a private little den.. okay, i will be back home this weekend and convince dad to transform the garage into my little den.. hope he likes the idea..

(anyone sees us?? -- sweet boy, he is just a sweet boy!)

happy monday to ya all!!

black and white : photos around the house

good morning saturday morning.. while phun was sleeping, i went around snapping. i've been babysitting him for half week now. his mom is in chiangmai boothing with her company. she will be back today, though..

i wanted to try black and white today.. so i walked around the house looking for something to shoot.. i wish to snap everyday but some days i feel like i don't know what to shoot.. however, today the muse was running wild, so there are some to share.. have a great weekend to you all...

some arts on the roadside to share

one of the things i like to do when travelling overseas is the look for graffiti to shoot. couldn't believe there were plenty in singapore. above are just the ones i snapped in my hostel area. i think they help soften the look of the commercial city like singapore.

when roaming in a city like this, though you could feel the rushing and commercially blooming side of it, you still could feel the touch of the imaginative and artistic one too..