wednesday rambling..

today i am alone in my shop. it's pretty quiet and i don't know where all the customers go. but i am not worried about it. it's still early and i like the quiet early hour of the day. it's been raining slightly since last night..

this morning, the morning page writing was very flowing. i wrote just 2 pages, instead of 3, bc i ran out of time..i rambled about my current life. i think it's too comfy. i think i need some changes in my life. i want some adventures. i think i am in a blah mode. i want some excitements. i need to go somewhere (despite the fact that the trip in bali and phuket just ended few weeks ago!). and my sunburnt is still here on my dark skin..

reading "when in rome" again has a gigantic effect on me. i want to make a move. i want to travel. i want to live in another country for a year. i want to live my life more. i want to meet more strangers. i want to make friends with local people living somewhere else. i want to be a nomad.

the business i am doing is good, but not that great. i can play while working. set my own schedule. have more of my "me" time. be my own boss. have time for work and break. know when to work and when to play. but i feel like i am struck. i feel like i need some more fun. i need to push myself harder. after 3 years. i need some changes. but i can't do it right now. i need to pay off the debt i built while starting the business. stay tuned with it until it gets more steady and then i can set myself free again. before, i regretted leaving the coorperate world bc of the high-paying position. but now, i am sorry that i regretted it. why? leaving the company is the best thing i give to myself. with my own business, i have more time for myself. i have so much of time to create things. time to do something else apart from working, bossing around and being bossed. i have so many chances to let my creative juices flow and flush in my blood stream freely... and i am immensely gratitute for that...

so now, i have to accept that i have to keep the burning desire for moving and traveling to new places inside my heart. wait for the time, but while waiting sneak out occasionally and play at any given time. .. i have to take care of what i've started. make it stable and make the income flow in. then, set myself free.. i am learning, i am living and i trying not to moan about my lucky life.. but the dream is still there waiting for me to pursue...