what the heck is going on with me?

i am feeling edgy today and i need to remember this...

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. But it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once…and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember… to relax, and not try to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. Don’t worry… you will someday. – American Beauty

i think it's bc i try to cut back on sugar and i am in a low sugar state. i don't feel like talking to anyone and i don't want to fake that i feel like talking to anyone. i've tried taking catnap, drinking cold coffee and writing. they did help uplift my mood a wee bit.

i need to get things done before i am off to phuket tomorrow. i should be cheerful because i am on the road again tomorrow. i am now but not 100% cheerful. i will be later in the day..

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and now an hour later, i feel even suck. the caffein is kicking me hard. i am headache and dizzy. i am drinking up water to flush it out..

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