within a week of staying in my own cave and feeling lonelier there, i decided to come back here. it feels like it has deprived everything from me; my joy, my creativity, my energy and myself. the reason i wanted to take a break was that pt and i broke up again. we are finally over. it's our second breakup and i hope it's the last bc i don't want to repeat the same circle again. it's like riding a rollercoaster. up and down. left and right. up and down. left and right. no end. i want to stop it and live my own life. and now i am back. i don't want to stay sad and angry all the time. i want to let it go and forgive him for breaking us up for the second time. this time i will let him go, permanently. though, we have fallen apart due to the changes of our lives and that we were unable to glue them back together, our 13 years of relationship will be with me, forever. i won't forget that we had been through thick and thin together, through all kinds of weather. we'd grown up and learned so many things together. and hope that when we meet again, we are still able to look at each other's eyes and still feel good for each other. i don't want our love to fade away just bc we decided to walk on our separate ways.. i wish you luck, pt.

i am doing much better and getting back to the old me. i get back to writing in 43t again and i get back to running yesterday. it feels amazing. i read some inspiring stories about fellow runners and i got inspired. i read some stories about writing and i want to write more. i want to write everyday. but i want to write about the joy and the inspiration in my mundane daily life, not the things that depress me or my readers.

the storm is passing, not totally but some has gone. i am getting myself together and i am doing fine on my own. during that time, some friends who know about it have cheered me up, by phone calls, emails, facebook or 43things. thanks so much. you guys are amazing. i won't get through it this fast without you..